I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
