Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
