I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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