every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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