From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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