Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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