my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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