so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
