Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
