How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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