Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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