3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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