Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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