If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
it glows. i had to have it.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
