HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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