the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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