Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I need moral support for this bender
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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