just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
you made out with another girl for some wings
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
