Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
