You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
