the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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