Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
