It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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