I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
