hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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