It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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