So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
