I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
