I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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