I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
