I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
