It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
