wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
