Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
