You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
