your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize