Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
