He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
