Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
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