oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize