The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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