And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
People in love make me want to vomit
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
