once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
