I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
