i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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