Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
