What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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