his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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