Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
