"it" just moved
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
