If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
