One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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