he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize