swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
