So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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