Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
