In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he's gonorrhea incarnate
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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