I think my vagina is haunted
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
