Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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