im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
