She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize