You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
