I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
