Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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