I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
