arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
