i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
