i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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