What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
