So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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