when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
