Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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