just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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