I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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