I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize