It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
