Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
