I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
