he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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